Ask Dera
Do you have a problem with your employer, nanny, babysitter, or elderly caregiver? Ask me your question. 1. My boss opens the doors in his pajamas, and sometimes, he’s shirtless. He works from home, so occasionally he stays in his pajamas until noon. I feel really uncomfortable; what should I do?
Dera
Sure, most people would never go to work in their pajamas at the office, but they do the opposite when working from home, even in front of their nanny or babysitter. It is usually because they are home and feel they should be able to do whatever they want. They are wrong.
Once a family hires an employee to take care of their children, that employee shouldn’t have to endure watching the employers walking half-naked around the house.
Tell your employer the truth. Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable to see him half-clothed, and goodness knows you aren’t the only babysitter suffering every morning. I know I had my share of similar stories…
2. My employer told me that I can eat anything I want if I am hungry, but she gets mad when I do. Why? I am a little confused, so please help.
Dera Most employers during the job interview will tell you that you can eat everything you want in their house. They are wrong because usually they don’t mean it. And the ones who do mean it, in their mind, everything does not include their dinner food that they will probably eat, and the expensive food they keep for special meals with friends. And some employers can go the other way. I have an employer who told me that “before eating anything, please call me for my approval.” When I see something I want to eat and call, she is always busy or at an important meeting. Then, I find the food in the garbage the next day. To be safe, you should ask your employer to give you a list of what you are allowed to eat, when you should ask, and also ask your employer to leave you a note if there is food she thinks you can have. Better yet, bring your own food; this is what they really want.
3. The son of the elderly couple I am taking care of hits on me. I love my job and want to keep it in this crazy economic situation. What do I do? Dera You cannot keep a job where you are constantly hit on. Your question really should be, ‘Do I report it?’ And if you report it, even though this is illegal, they are likely to fire you, as it will be difficult to remain spending time with people you are going to fight in court. That is where our job sucks. In other jobs, this wouldn’t really be a problem. Your boss hits on you; you report him and you can continue working for the company, especially if he doesn’t own it. In your case, if you want to press charges, you must have another job. It is important for you to be free while fighting the son in court. I can understand because I was once in the same situation. I was taking care of a nice elderly lady. Everything was fine, until one day, one of her three sons started talking dirty about my beautiful breasts, my butt and so on. And one day, he rubbed himself against me. I was so scared that I almost peed myself in the living room! Even though he did apologize the next day, that didn’t stop me from putting an ad in the newspaper, and in two weeks, I was gone. Here is what you can do: first, find another job and then decide your course of action, depending on what he did (was it a simple flirtatious act from an adult to another, or a serious act?), and whether or not to report him. I know I didn’t report mine because the family was very nice to me. I felt guilty about upsetting or disappointing the nice lady.
4. I want to travel, so I put my ad online to look for an au pair position overseas. One of the people who answered my ad told me that he doesn’t have children, but is looking for an au pair to take care of his house. It seems very nice but odd; I don’t know what to do. Dera You cannot respond to someone who answers an au pair ad but doesn’t have children. You should report him to the police, he could be a criminal. If you want to become an au pair, go to an au pair agency in your town or county. You can also look for them online. It is usually a free service for au pairs, and the families seeking an au pair pay for it |
